No one said Dating was easy, but if you follow these five rules and you’ll enjoy a richer date experience.
When it comes to your dating love life, do you wish there was a rulebook? While The Rules are so last century, a new dating handbook has yet to be created in the new era.
So how do you know the dos and don’ts rules of dating? The truth is there are no hard and fast rules, but the following guidelines should help you navigate the terrain known as your dating romance.
Rule #1: Listen to Your Feelings. Whether you’re on a date, communicating with someone you meet online, or flirting with a cutie you meet in the flesh, it’s important to pay attention and listen to your gut. If a potential date’s actions or words set off an internal alarm system, you owe it to yourself to pay attention and do act accordingly. These alarms can be both good and occasionally bad. For example, if you’ve met someone online and they seem interesting, then you talk to them on the phone and they sound completely different (in a negative way), you may decide not to meet them face to face. A positive example would be if you were on a date with someone and they seemed very nervous but well intentioned, your gut might tell you to give them a second chance. By going on a second date, you’ll gain a better understanding of whom they really are and if you’d like to see them on another date.
Rule #2: Pay Attention to the Red Flags. Like those internal alarms that alert you to your gut feelings, you also have an alarm system to alert you to the red flags. Often this alarm system is turned way down. As a result, we often ignore red flags and find ourselves getting involved with inappropriate partners because we’re not paying close attention. To become a truly successful single in the new millennium, you owe it to yourself to become a red flag observer. That means paying attention to red flags as they are presented to you on your dates. An example of a red flag would be if you found yourself on a date with someone who could not stop talking about their ex spouse. They may be a fantastic person, and eventually make a great partner, but right now they’re still not ready. Your job is to pay attention to that red flag and not pursue this person.
Rule #3: Actions Speak Louder Than Most Words. During the course of your Dating life you will most likely find yourself on a date with someone whose actions speak much clearer than his or her words. Maybe they’re attentive and chivalrous to you, but treat the waiter, bartender, and/or valet terribly. Or maybe they will claim they’re ready for a long-term relationship, but their wandering eye tells you otherwise. To get the best out of your dating life, it’s important to understand that actions speak louder than words. When someone’s actions are contrary to his or her words, this is not only a red flag alert, it’s gut-check time. By paying attention and screening out potential partners whose actions don’t match their words, you cut down on wasted dating and make it that so much easier to attract potential partners worth your time and energy.
Rule #4: Don’t Play Those Old Dating Games. Successful singles know what goes around may come around. They also know the importance of being honest and well intentioned with all the people they date. As a successful single, you owe it to yourself and the individuals you date not to play well-worn games. Be sure to call when you say you’re going to call. Do what you say you’re going to do, and be brutally honest when the other person asks if you’d like to go out again. If you don’t want to see them again, say so in a very kind and considerate way. By being honest and letting them down easy, you are not playing games. Expect the same consideration in return. If you don’t get it, don’t play games by taking that out on the next person you are dating.
Rule #5: Know When to Just Say “Game Over”. Just as you should not play those dating games, you will want to avoid getting played. Like it or not, there really are plenty of players on the dating scene. It’s up to you to know the signs of the player, know their game, and be confident enough to say “game over now.” Here’s how to really spot a player: When they approach, they’ll take you off guard with some backhanded compliment or insult along the lines of “you’re too cute to be wearing that” or “I’d buy you a drink, but you probably wouldn’t talk to me.” These tactics are actually known as The Game. The player’s motive is to take you off guard so that you’re on the defensive and try to make up for it by engaging them in their game. The problem is, these players aren’t very genuine. Instead of falling for their tactics, simply smile, say “game over,” and walk (better yet, run!) far.
While there are no hard and fast Dating rules, there are definitely real guidelines to follow to make your dating life more enjoyable. By always listening to your gut, paying attention to red flags, and understanding that actions speak louder than words, you cut down on wasted dating time. In doing so, you not only avoid getting played, but you also greatly increase your chances of dating relationship success.